Ladies, hide your bathing suit pics.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Forrest is not Bruce Willis
This is not a picture of Forrest, this is a picture of Bruce Willis. Forrest would need to put on at least 30 lbs of muscle, and potentially kill a man to pull off this look.
Forrest is not in Toronto
Forrest is not eating Canadian bacon and drinking maple syrup with Alanis Morissette. He is not riding a beaver (in any way) or getting arrested by a mountie. If he were to get injured, he would not receive free healthcare.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Forrest thinks the ugliest girl on Gossip Girl is the hottest
Forrest thinks Vanessa, the one with the mustache, is hotter than obviously way hotter Blair Waldorf....it's depressing enough that he watches the show.
Forrest's career peaked at neck ad
Forrest made this ad for Gatorade. Admittedly it was "bananas", but who wants to advertise necks for the rest of their life?
Forrest is not Peter Williams
Peter Williams is running 100 miles for charity this month. Forrest isn't doing that.
Forrest travels too much
Forrest can't seem to stay in one effing place. What are you running from Forrest?
Forrest is too attractive
Forrest is "attractive." Some (Forrest) might say, TOO attractive. This makes everyone else feel like the fat ugly friend in comparison.
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